Reverse Inequality

10 Oct

In the past, marriage would strip women from ownership. When a man would marry a woman he would take everything, from her clothing to her name to her children. Women fought for decades to gain ownership over their possessions. Ironically, the roles have been reversed and I believe there is inequality on the other side. Men now are revoked their paternal rights when it comes to custody of their children.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau about one in six custodial parents were fathers. So 17.8 percent of men would acquire custody of their children and the mothers would gain the majority of visitation rights. But why? In chapter 8 of the Politics of Family and Fertility it states “women have a natural capacity for care of children and others, and that these natural gifts make it right, not simply convenient, for the woman of the family to provide or oversee its care (378).”

What about the fathers of these children? Yes they the fathers will provide financial care, but you can’t only invest money into a child’s life and have a personal relationship with your children. Although it is rare for men to face inequality compared to women, but child custody is an issue that needs to be addressed.

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5 Responses to “Reverse Inequality”

  1. jcjohnson3 October 10, 2012 at 12:39 pm #

    The fact that women are favored to get custody is a blatantly sexist part of the custody system. Who’s to say a woman is inherently better at raising a kid? I have had friends with terrible moms. Just because they gave birth to their children didn’t mean they gained any maternal instinct.

    Plenty of men can be wonderful fathers, and it makes me mad that a good father may be denied custody because he is not a woman. The 1950’s have passed, fathers statistically take a more active role in parenting then they stereotypically used to. In other words, child rearing is no longer just the ‘woman’s job’.

    Both parents should be evaluated on their merits and relationships with the children involved.

  2. shaybrandon October 10, 2012 at 4:23 pm #

    I agree. When my parents divorced my brother and I underwent psychological evaluations that had us interact with both parents separately and together. It was determined that our mom was a better parent but I can see how in some cases the father would be the better parent. Honestly this is a rather antiquated idea that “mother knows best”.

  3. maliakmanor October 11, 2012 at 8:35 pm #

    I agree and disagree. I do believe the mom, if she physically gave birth to the child, does possess a natural maternal instinct, or connection, to the child. This is seen with other organisms in nature as well; the father naturally feels less attached to the offspring in many cases. However, that being said, that does not mean “maternal instinct” makes a person more qualified to raise a child.

    Like so many, which it is unfortunate that several of us have experienced mom deficiencies and for that I’d like to say I’m sorry because I understand, I grew up with a mother who could not hold a candle to my father, yet she was automatically given custody of my sister and me. I truly believe she has more of a “maternal instinct” than my father. But, she does not possess the skill sets as a person that my father possesses, which make him the better parent.

    Also, just because a maternal instinct exists does not mean it is exercised. Too often, she did not. However, I still love her dearly and would never ask for someone different. 🙂

  4. brittanyposey22 October 12, 2012 at 4:22 pm #

    Honestly I don’t think this reverse discrimination is fair. I don’t think that one sex is better at raising a child than the other. I think that it honestly depends on the person. Every person has a nurturing level within them. However, I think it would be difficult to for courts to decide who is the better parent. I think that traditionally women are the care givers so this is just a way for courts to try and make the right decision. Is it fair? No. However, is there really a more effective way to accomplish the goal of finding the better parent? How can a court really decide who is the better parent?

  5. Beth Mathavich October 14, 2012 at 8:16 pm #

    This is a very difficult issue. Divorce is hard on everyone, and it is almost impossible to decide what parent is “a better parent.” The court can make guidelines for making their decisions all they want, but it is going to be difficult for the children and the parents either way.

    I have personally experienced this. My parents divorced when I was 9, and my mother got custody of both my sister and me. Sadly, my mother did everything possible to turn us against our father. Telling us things that 9 and 12 year olds should not know. I did not even want to see my father the little amount of time that the court allowed us to see him. We simply weren’t even allowed to see him outside of the mandated times given by the court. Once I was old enough, and able to form my own opinions about the situation I realized my father wasn’t the monster that my mother made him out to be.

    I sometimes wonder how different things would have turned out if my father would have gotten custody. I now know that he is seriously one of the dads in the world, and he would do anything for my sister and me. I don’t think my dad was any less capable of taking care of us, but as the statistics show.. mothers just get custody.

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