Marriage: what’s the big deal?

7 Dec

Occasionally, and with all due respect, I find topics of feminism frivolous; it’s a waste of energy. Lots of energy.
For example, this past week when we discussed marriage and the implications of last names, rings, etc, I thought is this really that concerning? Why are you so willing to wear the ring? Because it’s shiny? Also. why are there women looking down on women? So what if a lady wants to be married and take her husband’s name. How can a woman judge her?

In my opinion equality is meant to ensure that all people have opportunity to pursue happiness and fulfill ambition. If a woman does not share in your prerogative, she cannot be considered wrong for it is her equal right to be different.

Lisa Miya-Jervis, editor of Ms. Magazine, is married. As a ringleader of feminist thinking, several readers, upon learning she had a husband, stopped subscribing. In her article Who Wants to Marry a Feminist,  Miya-Jervis (apparently her husband and she both hyphened their last names) tells her thinking behind marriage, emphasizing that the traditional concepts of marriage are not that big of a deal, in the grand scheme of things.

3 Responses to “Marriage: what’s the big deal?”

  1. Rosie December 7, 2012 at 12:36 pm #

    Agreed. There’s no “right way” to be a feminist and people who think there is seem pretty arrogant to me (also, they tend to alienate people who might otherwise identify with feminism). And we need to choose our battles–partly, as you say, to conserve energy to fight the most important ones, and also so those most important issues are not lost in all the noise.

  2. sidestinkappleeye December 7, 2012 at 3:44 pm #

    I nominated this blog for the Liebster Award.

  3. jcjohnson3 December 7, 2012 at 5:04 pm #

    I’m kind of in the middle. A last name can be an identity for people, and if they want to hold onto it they shouldn’t feel societal pressure to take their husband’s name. For me “Johnson” isn’t a name I really want to hold onto.

    I also think it’s romantic that a husband and wife, in a sense, belong to each other or become a family unit. As long as there is equality in the relationship dynamic and a wife doesn’t “belong” to her husband more than her husband “belongs” to her, I’m fine with it.

    One ideal change would be if husbands more routinely took their wives names, but I can’t see that happening for a long time.

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